Grooming is the normalization of inappropriate behavior. In the case of childhood sexual abuse, one way a predator may begin to groom is to show a child pornography and talk about it with the child. Then after progressively normalizing the viewing of this material they create a psychological bond with them. Then the child they are grooming willingly allows the one grooming them to go beyond talking about pornography to acting out physically. This becomes more concerning as many parents may be unaware of the content in their child’s school library. The content in many books the LBGTQ community want in our schools are material that could be used to set the table for conversations with children that can lead to grooming. These books contain pornographic content that cannot be read aloud at a school board meeting, yet they are allowed on the shelves in the school library.
More alarming than the content in these books, is how many people had to approve of them before they hit the shelves. Furthermore, are those who will come to defend the books being in your child’s school library after they are discovered by concerned parents. Recently, in Keller Texas, Marty Baker of the Heritage Church of Christ took the floor in the school board meeting to defend the books being in the libraries of the Keller Independent School District. Baker is the youth minister at the congregation where he is employed. This is concerning given the role that he holds and the fact that the eldership of that congregation has been silent on the matter as Baker continues in his role as the youth minister at Heritage.
In the State of Texas, it is illegal to display harmful material to a minor (Sec 43.24) it is also illegal to encourage a child to engage in sexual conduct (Sec 261.001). The content in the books discussed in the meeting were so graphic that public decency laws would have been violated had they been read aloud at the meeting. Furthermore, how could a teacher, counselor, administrator, or youth minister speak with a child about the contents of these books and what they describe as a positive thing and not be in violation of Sec 261.001 by encouraging sexual conduct of a minor or Sec 43.24 by displaying harmful material to a minor?
In Romans 13:1 we are commanded to submit to the authorities as they have been put in place by God. In this situation however we have a minister who believes that he is serving God yet is imploring a local school board to allow material that cannot be read aloud in public without violating public decency laws. If the books had different covers and were sold in a corner convenience store, the act of showing these materials to a child could put someone in legal trouble. Through the advocating for these books, Mr. Baker is advocating for behaviors that are contrary to the book that one would assume he taught from on Sunday morning given his role. This is a troubling situation that someone involved with youth would advocate for materials that predators could use as a tool to groom children for sexual abuse.
The concerns go beyond Mr. Baker. The leadership of the congregation where Marty Baker is on staff are either extremely slow in their response or have decided to be the watchman that remains silent as described in Ezekiel 33:2-6. These men are comfortable with the employee responsible for youth at the congregation they lead to advocate for the normalization of behavior inconsistent with the Bible’s teachings on human sexuality. Since there is no alarm expressed by the eldership, would they be capable of identifying grooming behavior? Would a claim of the sexual abuse of a child be handled appropriately given the inaction to this point on the matter? Would the predator or the child be treated better at this congregation after a discovery or disclosure of abuse? Nobody can predict the future, but in this instance there is a track record to be observed that can provide insight into how predatory behaviors would be handled by the leadership of this congregation.
How is predatory behavior handled where you worship? Have you asked for the policy on sexual abuse and was it willingly and quickly provided? Are grooming behaviors addressed in addition to the handling of abuse in the policy? How will a claim of abuse be handled if one brought an accusation to a minister or elder? Have you asked what the policy is for registered sex offenders attending your congregation? These questions above are not exhaustive but a guide to help you determine if the where you worship has already considered the topic of abuse and has a plan. Sadly, many have not considered what to do and do not have a plan.