Through studying churches that have experienced abuse and particularly child sexual abuse trends or personas have begun to form based on the ways that the church handles abuse and the policies to prevent it. It is not uncommon that a congregation may have multiple personas in dealing with the topic.

1. The Ostrich
2. The Outsourcer
3. Pet wolves
4. Old friends’ network
5. Truth silencers
6. The Redemption story
7. The vigilant

The Ostrich
The Ostrich is a congregation that chooses not to be aware of the times. This is not out of malice, but rather not knowing where to start, or a belief that since they are a faith organization, everyone they interact with is incapable of such evil. It is also very common with churches that adopt the ostrich technique that due to where the congregation is located and because of no prior history, no need is seen to implement plans to help protect and/or prevent abuse in their congregation.

The Outsourcer
Outsourcers are churches that outsource the responsibility of child protection to a third party. A very common example of this is the exclusive use of background checks for those dealing with the youth of a congregation. No other policy or practices are put into place. The safety of the congregation is outsourced to a mechanism used to identify those who have been caught, not those who have not yet been caught.

Pet wolves
Wolves are wild animals. One can attempt to domesticate them but any attempt to do so with only four hours of effort a week is destined to fail. Congregations that will chaperone known offenders are attempting to domesticate a wolf. This is often done with only a handful in the congregation aware that a wolf is present. This is a deception by those in the know and poses a greater threat because of how we as Christians have been trained to treat our fellow churchgoers. When we see a pet wolf in public, we are often unaware that they are indeed a wolf leading to opportunities for interaction with our children while we are unaware of the risk.

Old friends network
The old friends’ network is very similar to the pet wolf. The main difference in the old friends network is that the wolf originated from within. In order to protect reputations and maintain friendships and offender is hidden by their network leaving the broader congregation at risk.

Truth silencers
Truth silencers are those who are so bold to believe that they must be the public relations firm for The Almighty God. In reality these individuals are not too different than the old friends network. The main difference being they work from a different angle which is slightly more insidious. Truth silencers are the ones so bold to approach someone who has endured abuse and state that if they speak up about what happened they are a gossip and are opposing God. No law enforcement allowed, no requests for justice, if so you are to be labeled as wicked.

Redemption Story
The redemption story persona is one that is leveraged to show how much an individual has changed often in an extremely short period of time. Due to the quick turnaround this individual is put on a pedestal due to the miracle that occurred in their life. The unfortunate reality of this persona is that often the praise, pedestal, and pressure become too much and the object of redemption crumbles. It is at that time other personas take over to protect the one on the pedestal.

The vigilant
The vigilant congregations are the ones that have a policy in place, have all employees review and sign it annually. They regularly train those who work with the youth on the signs to look for regarding grooming. These congregations have a policy of how to deal with convicted offenders that ensures that they are unable to see the children of the congregation at all. These are the congregations that in the event of an incident will both announce from the pulpit and send in writing to current and recent former members what happened. Vigilant congregations do not investigate, they invite law enforcement to do what they are trained to do. Vigilant congregations will do what is required to have the appropriate counseling provided. Vigilant congregations then ensure that the survivor is protected and have a zero tolerance policy on retaliation. The vigilant expel the wolf from their midst.

Jesse L, McFadden was a 39-year-old convicted sex offender who lived in Henryetta Oklahoma. He had been convicted in 2003 of first-degree rape and had served until October of 2020. He was expected to stand trial in May of 2023 for solicitation of a minor and possession of child pornography (child sexual abuse material) which he committed while in prison. With the pending charges, he was still released from prison in 2020.

Upon his release, Jesse McFadden kept details of his conviction and upcoming trial away from Holly Guess (McFadden’s wife). Jesse McFadden explained away his legal challenges and appearance on the Oklahoma Sex Offender Registry. He did so effectively enough that Guess married McFadden introducing him to regular exposure to her three children. McFadden was described as extremely controlling by those who observed McFadden and the family.

Tragically on April 30, 2023 the day before his scheduled court appearance for the crime he committed while in prison he murdered Holly Guess, her three children, and two of the children’s friends who were at the property where McFadden and Guess resided. Then McFadden took his own life.

There are many things that can be learned from this tragedy. One of which is how lax our laws are when an individual is convicted of sex crimes involving children. Fortunately, this spurred a change in Oklahoma law requiring offenders to serve their entire sentence and removed any credits for good behavior like what allowed McFadden to be released early.

There are more questions to be asked and changes that society at large should probably employ, but what about the Church? What can the Church learn from this tragedy?

1. Deception. A predator’s ability to deceive is greater than the amount of time any minister or leader in a congregation can spend with the predator to determine their intentions. Anna Salter in her book on predators highlights the skill and ability of predators to deceive. In her book she also highlights that trained Secret Service Agent’s ability to pick up on deception wanes with age (p162). Our congregations are led by elders who are largely untrained in detecting deception. Based on Salter’s findings, most would be better off flipping a coin. These elders must be willing to listen and not be dismissive of individuals or holes in policy when it involves child protection.

• Empathy. Very often a predator will leverage empathy of some sort to gain access or allies. The news articles in the McFadden case do not specifically outline this however in one article that has a relative describing McFadden as standoffish and demure. It is possible that these were tools used by McFadden to reel others in by their own curiosity. Empathy is the tool that Amnon leveraged to gain access to Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:5.

• Apathy. Predators bank on apathy. Predators often take advantage of apathy that allows them into a situation where they can abuse. In the McFadden case, his early release from prison was the apathy that allowed him to abuse again. Immediately following the rape of Tamar, nothing was said or done to Amnon until 2 years later Absalom had Amnon killed in 2 Samuel 13:28 Absalom had Amnon killed.

-Anna C. Salter – Predators Pedophiles, Rapists, & Other Sex Ofenders, 2003

It is time that institutions that educate those that desire to go into ministry to educate not only on the scriptures, but the challenges in the world today along with the techniques that predators use to exploit churches so that they may hunt. Our congregations need “Men of Issachar” those who know the times and know what to do. I Chronicles 12:32. The ignorance on display is creating a situation where those who wish to serve others are as effective as those who passed by in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Recently two news articles involving the Denton Bible Church in Denton, TX highlight the need. After reading the articles with the first one stating what had happened involving the activities of the congregation after it was disclosed that a youth pastor had abused 14 girls between two churches. The second article stating when that the offender was nearing his release which is another subject involving our government and the need for longer sentences for sexual predators.

Having reviewed these news articles and the letter to the congregation published by Denton Bible Church after an investigation was completed, there are still some questions that remain for the leadership and head pastor Tommy Nelson.

In this forum there have been multiple articles written about the two types of watchmen as described in Ezekiel 33:2-6. The two types of watchmen consist of those who will sound the alarm if things appear suspicious and the watchman that won’t sound the alarm even when danger is imminent. Covered previously is also the topic of the “flying monkey”. There are two types of those as well. There are the flying monkeys who will defend an offender and no matter how serious the accusation, evidence, or complete knowledge of what the offender is doing. Those will never believe that the offender could ever do anything wrong as they stubbornly side with one who is doing harm. The other type of flying monkey is one that will defend an offender through being just out of touch enough that they inadvertently defend. These flying monkeys are the useful idiots used by an offender to increase the size of the crowd defending them in the event of an accusation.

Tommy Nelson was warned of Robert Shiflet and his pattern of finding himself alone with young girls by youth workers. In 1999 a youth intern stated that they were uncomfortable with the way Shiflet treated young girls. Shiflet was denied a promotion due to his propensity to be found alone with girls. Due to being denied the promotion, Robert Shiflet sought employment as a youth pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Arkansas. Although he was denied a promotion due to how he had a way of ending up alone with young girls, Nelson did not share any concerns with Shiflet’s employer in Arkansas. At this point it appears that Tommy Nelson was involved in passing a predator around much like what was found to be happening in many of the Catholic Diocese investigations in the same period.

While in Arkansas, Shiflet abused at least three girls at Fellowship Bible Church in Arkansas. Shiflet left Arkansas to move back to Denton where he again attended Denton Bible until 2005 when one of his victims shared her abuse to a counselor who got the wheels of justice moving.

In a statement to Denton Bible Church Nelson claimed he did not know of any abuse until 2015 when the father of one of the victims came to him. Although Nelson was made aware of the abuse by the father of one of the victims, authorities were not notified even though he was a mandated reporter.

When confronted with the question of a cover up, Nelson denied this strongly stating that the times had changed during his time in ministry stating that from 1974 – 2005 he had never heard the word “pedophile” or know what it meant. Based on many of the crimes involving children in DFW in the late 1990s that is a statement that is difficult to believe. Nelson may not have known what a pedophile was at that time, but according to the youth worker, youth intern, and a promotion withheld, Nelson knew what a pedophiles behavior was. At the time that Shiflet’s promotion was withheld, the reason why should have been clear. In this it appears that there was a willing lack of curiosity, the out of touch flying monkey.


Based on his behaviors Nelson, and the leadership at Denton Bible Church behaved as the bad watchman described in Ezekiel 33. They were told of trouble with Shiflet on multiple occasions. For whatever reason nobody stopped to examine things much like the priest and the Levite in the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:31,32 that passed on the other side of the road. To do this would not have been a huge inconvenience. It would have taken a phone call. Nelson remained just out of touch enough that he became the kind of flying monkey that he would defend Shiflet because he never made the effort to be curious.


https://www.fox4news.com/news/fox-4-investigates-14-girls-sexually-abused-by-north-texas-youth-pastor-the-red-flags-the-church-ignored?taid=633cec3be9289400014c1ff1

https://www.fox4news.com/news/denton-bible-church-youth-pastor-abuse-rob-shiflet?taid=63b53219d1c013000105d1cd

DARVO is a technique employed by abusers and their flying monkeys that is the preferred technique employed by caught, accused, or even convicted abusers.

Deny – Deny that the abuse even happened. If there is overwhelming evidence and it happened a very long time ago, playing the card of how long ago it was and how changed the abuser will be used.

Attack – This can be a blatant smear campaign against the survivor and as subtle as casting doubt regarding details questioning the integrity of the survivor or their case.

Reverse the role of the abused and offender – When the reversal happens it will sound something like, “I can’t believe that someone who has done so much good would be accused falsely of such things.”

There is a recent example of this technique that made the national news in the Oklahoma City area. Michael Coghill was charged with lewd/indecent acts with a child in September of 2021. This came about after a child spoke with his father about how he got uncomfortable when a man would come and touch him while he was at the school bus stop. Soon after the disclosure the father dropped his son off at the school bus stop and then parked a little distance away and waited while recording the school bus stop. A short time later a jogger (Coghill) ran past the children at the school bus stop for a distance then turned around and proceeded to touch the child unaware of the father recording the incident from a distance. After a few moments and being sure to capture the events on video, the father approached the jogger and got into a confrontation with him while attempting to detain him until the authorities arrived. In the confrontation the jogger Michael Coghill sustained multiple facial injuries at the hands of the father.

It was learned that Coghill was the involvement minister at the Lakehoma Church of Christ and he was dismissed immediately. A previous employer of Coghill, the Choctaw Church of Christ employed a different technique regarding Coghill, DARVO.

In a news report covering the response of the Choctaw congregation one can observe a well executed application of DARVO for the television broadcast by the minister of the congregation.

“Knowing his character and his work here, no way, how could this happen?” Kessler said.   He went on to add, “Like it was a sick joke of some kind,” Kessler said. “I couldn’t believe it, thought somebody had doctored the picture.”  When Kessler was asked about the families of children for whom Coghill was a youth minister, Kessler stated that the parents were extremely supportive, “They keep coming to me saying, ‘We talked to our kids because our kids were in the youth group when Mike was here,’” Kessler said. “And they all say, ‘No way, no how.’” 

Kessler, the Choctaw congregations minister concluded the interview by telling the reporter of the prayer vigil to be held for Coghill., “We’re having a prayer vigil, we’ll call it, starting at 9 p.m. tonight going through 7 a.m. in the morning,” Kessler said. “My hope is there’s something, some kind of evidence, that in the end will prove Mike’s innocence.”

Now that we have the quotes provided in the Jenifer Pierce piece from September 27, 2021 for channel 9 news in Oklahoma City, let’s examine how DARVO was employed by the minister and by extension the congregation in Choctaw.

We’ll match the acronym to the quotes and provide some explanation of how the statements made by the minister are harmful.

Denial – “Knowing his character and his work here, no way, how could this happen?” Kessler said.

Attack – “Like it was a sick joke of some kind,” Kessler said. “I couldn’t believe it, thought somebody had doctored the picture.”  When Kessler was asked about the families of children for whom Coghill was a youth minister, Kessler stated that the parents were extremely supportive, “They keep coming to me saying, ‘We talked to our kids because our kids were in the youth group when Mike was here,’” Kessler said. “And they all say, ‘No way, no how.’”

This Attack is more subtle; however, the intent of the statement is essentially questioning the integrity of the video which captured Coghill in the act and of the father who then acted to detain Coghill.

Reversing the role of abused and offender. This was already quoted in the Attack above, however the Attack had two layers to it including the reversal. – When Kessler was asked about the families of children for whom Coghill was a youth minister, Kessler stated that the parents were extremely supportive, “They keep coming to me saying, ‘We talked to our kids because our kids were in the youth group when Mike was here,’” Kessler said. “And they all say, ‘No way, no how.’”

In the role reversal Kessler claimed how supportive the families of the children Coghill had worked with in the past were. This is drawing attention to all the good that Coghill had done coupled with the prayer vigil and claims of innocence. The implication being that if Coghill is innocent, then how awful is the father and young man who brought all of this on Coghill.

This article’s quotes highlighted the use of the DARVO technique by a congregation to defend an individual who had been videoed touching a child and what a former employer used to bring the accusations into question and defend their former employee. This technique is used in multiple scenarios beyond abuse in churches. At Ezekiel 33 we have seen DARVO employed in families, churches, and school situations. It can work in the simplest and most complex of abuse cases to take the negative attention away from the offender and attempts to put the negative attention on the abused.

Learn DARVO, learn to recognize its use, there are enough news stories and items on social media where you can observe its use. When you learn to recognize it, when you see it being used in a situation you can impact, you will have the opportunity to correct oppression (Is 1:17). “Taking no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Eph 5:11. In doing so, you take on the role of the good watchman.

This post is a bit different than the norm. I do feel it necessary to share a bit of what has gone on in the recent and not so recent past.

In 2019 I wrapped up a masters degree and worked to get back into a cadence of publishing content at a regular pace. The organization I was with was going through significant change that required more hours than would allow creativity to write when off of work. In 2020, well need I say more COVID and with that, a furlough which led to my exit from an organization I loved, but it was time that I move on. In the back half of 2020 and early 2021 I was with a new organization, that in the early spring of 2021 I had seen the warning signs of unstable management and the need to get out. They beat me to it and laid me off on 4/15/2021 along with several others. That date will forever hold other significance which I will celebrate for a good while with good BBQ and fireworks so long as I live outside of the city limits.

In June of 2021 I began my next position with my current employer. This place has many attributes similar to where I was furloughed from in 2020. After a few months on the job I was offered the opportunity to relocate to Oklahoma and office out of headquarters which I accepted. Days after closing on a house in Oklahoma, my mother fell ill. She passed back in May and things have not been the same. She did however love the work I did here.

The above was my sob story or excuse for not being as active here over the past few years. I’m working to get content together for the next post. I am still in the fight and have spoken with various churches in various capacities regarding becoming survivor friendly, protecting the flock from predators, and consulting on various situations where predators may have been attempting to sneak into a flock.

Remember to keep your eyes open and that anyone can be the good watchman, it just takes a lot more effort than being the bad one.

Steve